This post was made as a submission for Dice Goblin's Adventure Calendar Jam 2023 where we post one short RPG idea every day until December 24. Here are my previous entries: day one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve

Getting mail is fun. Getting mail delivered by fat albino carrier rats travelling via a pipe network is more fun! Here are four alternatives to conventional mailing services and postal networks for use in weird fantasy urbancrawls.

The City delivers Her Mail via...	But how does that Even Work?
...fat, blind albino rats running in deep, fist-sized tunnels that stretch under the City, carrying correspondence strapped to their backs.	Each district of the city breeds very specific flowers, herbs, fungi and spices to create a distinct aroma profile. As the rats are trained to smell their way towards specific aromatic regions, the sender can infuse his package with a careful mixture of aromatic oils that mimics the aroma profile of his desired recipient's adress, sending a very enthusiastic rat into its merry way.
...long-legged spiders tap-tap-tapping spider-morse codes into impossibly long silk strings criss-crossing the entire city. Spiders on the other end can translate the message and type it into a sheet of parchment.	To ensure privacy and security, mail is split into several teams of various spiders using secret sharing theorems to ensure information theoretic security. Broodmothers divine new encryption keys from web patterns every day, so no spider can know the entire contents of one single message, or at least they say. A wolf-spider secret police keeps other spiders in check, just in case.
All chimneys and smokestacks leading to the same - colossal - municipal boiler-house. Valves remotely controlled by legions of public servants to send coordinated smoke signals across the entire city.	Legions of trained workers control the pneumatic hellscape that is every municipal boiler-house to release smoke-mail into the sky and balancing the smoke input and output so the whole thing doesn't blow up. Sky-readers perch up on top of tall buildings on every district, armed with notebooks and telescopes, to dutifully note every smoke emission and relay them to the local network. Open flames are regulated and there's a curfew on stoves and fireplaces.
A series of giant, round mirrors hanging from the walls of buildings. Public servants constantly adjusting them with poles to relay messages quickly and precisely using light. Keeping your mirror clean is a civic duty.	Mirrors are carefully adjusted to construct light tunnels from relay stations scattered across town. Experienced light-typists quickly open and close the shutters on tiny, candle-lit hooded lanterns to send light reflections ricocheting across the district's mirror network all the way to their destination. There's a hefty fine for dirty, cracked, speckled or otherwise unoperable mirrors.

No public service is 100% reliable all the time. Here are some d6 Complications tables for each new postal service above!

Oh No! I can't deliver my mail because...

D6	Rat Mail
1	...there's an open sewer ruining the aroma profile!
2	...there has been a terrible mix-up at the Ministry of Aromatic Identification!
3	...someone is growing unlicensed aromatics on their apartment block and diverting rat routes!
4	...the recently-opened local cheese factory is clogging up rat traffic!
5	...my house cat ate my mail-mouse!
6	...the rat pipes are flooding! Poor rats!

D6	Spider Mail
1	...a silk-line has been cut! Spider sabotage!
2	...someone forgot to change their daily encryption key! Spider incompetence!
3	...there's "too much traffic" and my message is "not important enough"? Spider corruption!
4	...I haven't filled out my weekly mailing form! Spider bureaucracy!
5	...the silk-lines are clogged with advertisements for a new tea-shop! Spider spam!
6	...spiderhunter birds are terrorizing the local postal spiders! Spider hazard!

D6	Smoke Mail
1	...there's too much wind!
2	...there's too much rain!
3	...the local boiler-house clogged up and exploded!
4	...someone's kitchen is going up in flames and all that black smoke is ruining communication!
5	...there has been a big influx of pipe smokers sending false-positives to sky-readers in this part of town!
6	...I'm behind on my smoke tax and they closed the valves on my place!

D6	Light Mail
1	...there's too much fog!
2	...there's too much sun!
3	...my neighbor's mirror's cracked!
4	...rainwater keeps warping the reflections!
5	...public servants forgot to adjust a mirror somewhere and half of the neighborhood's mail is being forwarded to a brick wall!
6	...of all this blasted bird poop on my mirror!

Thank you for reading!

#Adventure Calendar Jam 2023 #random tables #spiders #urbancrawl #weird #worldbuilding

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